Imposter Syndrome and Self doubt

 

It is very common for successful people to experience imposter syndrome and self-doubt,  including the likes of Tina Fey or Sheryl Sandberg, who have publically claimed at times they felt like a fraud.

A review article in the International Journey of Behavioural Science puts the figure at an estimated 70% of people who experience the imposter syndrome phenomenon at some point in their lives.

Know that you are not alone. 

So if we know that it is common, the feelings of Imposter Syndrome  - know that it isn’t experiencing it that is the problem, it’s how we recognise and deal with it that has the biggest impact on our outcomes.

"Of all the judgements we pass in life,

none is more important than the judgement

we pass on ourselves."

Nathaniel Branden

How true is this?

We’ve talked before about ‘stories’ and how we have them for time, money and success.  Well, one of these life stories can be around our comparison of...

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Employee vs Entrepreneur Mindset

business mindset Jul 14, 2021

 This should come with a potential trigger warning as we are going to be diving into whether you are creating your dream life, complete with legacy building business, or if you are creating a job under the guise of being an entrepreneur. 

This is physically how you set up your business which has the underpinning of employee vs entrepreneur mindset

Before we go any further I want to clarify that there is no good or bad here, not judgement that comes up, as long as you are fully aware and have consciously chosen how to run your business. 

In my experience, you could be running an employee mindset whilst trying to scale your business which leads to frustration and burnout. If you are an entrepreneur struggling with burnout - I recommend reading & trying this self-hypnosis blog.

We are going to be looking through the lens of a mindset strategist and coach, to stop you if this is holding you back. 

Let me ask you a couple of questions and scenarios, to see...

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The Streisand Effect on Future Legacy

coaching mindset Jul 05, 2021

Back in 2003, the award-winning singer & actor Barbara Streisand was annoyed when a blurry photo of her Malibu home was published as part of the California Coastal Records Project. 

Her annoyance manifested in her trying to suppress the photo. However, it had the opposite effect. It created a furore above and beyond what the original article had done. Meaning something that was obscure gained substantial attention. 

When censorship backfires.

It has since been labelled as a social phenomenon by The Economist that occurs when we attempt to hide, remove or censor information. Sometimes it has the unintended consequence of amplifying it. 


So what has this got to do with your future legacy?

Let me share with you a story from one of my clients about how the Streisand Effect showed up in her life. 

My client was residing in the UK, having been born in Europe, raised in her home country and coming to the UK when she was a teenager. 

She had educated...

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How Writing your own Eulogy can Enable you to Live your Best Life Now

coaching legacy mindset Jun 29, 2021

Diving straight in today and talking about a topic that many find difficult: death.  

You see in the western world death is scary. We can have trauma from the death of a loved one. And death is an uncontrollable event.

I’m not talking about the afterlife or next lives today, so any woo-woo avoiders; don’t worry.

What I am talking about is that if you want to live your best life, go to the end and a very specific part of the ending: your eulogy.

This is not a theory-based blog post today, this is a creative exercise that I’m going to encourage you to do. A note that this experience with clients can have a profound impact on people, with urgency and clarity.


So before we dive into the how, yes overachievers I’m going to make you wait a little longer, let’s talk about why.

We can live in the present day, using our past legacies to influence how we show up in the present-day version of ourselves. In society it can be about immediate gratification...

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How to Move Past the Legacy Mindset that is Keeping you Stuck

coaching mindset Jun 16, 2021

It surprises me how many entrepreneurs don’t spend enough time thinking about those past legacy thoughts, feelings and mindset to move forward.

So what is legacy –

“Something that is a part of your history or that remains from an earlier time” as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary.


Legacy is so important to your success, which you might have gathered from the newly titled private weekly podcast called Wielding Legacy - because the key to unlocking your future lies in legacies.

If you haven’t signed up for Wielding Legacy and there is space, you can do so here.

Wielding Legacy is an audio insight for high achievers, visionaries, empire builders and power couples.

I know you are creating an impact in your industry. You are building a legacy for yourself and your family.

And it drives you and occupies your mind.

However, through my work as a trusted advisor to extraordinary entrepreneurs, I know you aren’t yet reaching your greatest...

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Meet the Woman who Coaches Top Poker Players

clients coaching mindset May 10, 2021

Most entrepreneurs, elite athletes, business managers, execs and directors have their own coaches. The more formal consultants can focus on the tactical and strategic aspects of a clients work.

However, when elite poker players want help with the mental side of the game, they come to mindset ninja and trusted advisor Laura Payne-Stanley.

Logo

Laura says:

“Some people call me a coach. Some people call me a hypnotherapist and some people call me an expert in helping people to get out of their own way, and play the best games of their lives. But the elite players just call me.”

Feel more focused, more confident and stop the tilt.

So who is the woman, the secret weapon that has been compared to Wendy Rhoades from Billions for the poker market?


Laura, or LPS as her clients call her, says:

“I never set out to become the trusted advisor for poker players. I was working with top executives in film, casting directors and entrepreneurs, and a few of them used to play...

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How to Scale a Coaching Business

coaching mindset sell more Apr 21, 2021

I wouldn't be the in-demand, high-level coach that I am if I didn't start by asking a question rather than answering this one. The question being how to scale your coaching business?

The question I want to ask you is why do you want to scale your coaching business?

Could you feel the impact of that question? And you do need to answer this before moving on. Because if you don’t know why you want to scale your coaching business, then 'how' is irrelevant.

It might seem like a strange question to ask, but I often have conversations with people who want to scale their coaching businesses to six figures, seven figures, and beyond.

From the hundreds of personal clients that I've had and 1000s of people that I've worked with through courses and from the stage, I've learnt that there is no one size fits all solution when it comes to scaling coaching practices.

This is how I work as a powerful coach. I ask the questions that you need to be asked, not answer the questions that you would...

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How do I know if my love is interested in me or my money?

Does this sound familiar to you.

You've recently gone on a date. And then in the first half an hour, you run through what both of you do for a living, which is of course a completely reasonable question.

You may try and dial down exactly that success that you currently have, so you do not seem too overwhelming. However, your date seems immediately suppressed and changes their energy as soon as you told them of your success.

Maybe a little too impressed in fact. You were getting the feeling that your success, that your money, that your status was more of an attraction than you were?

You may have had a feeling at an instinct or gut level. That you thought this person was more interested in your success than you if you had no success.

Of course, you're proud of your success. And you want to share it with the love of your life.

So how do you figure out if your date or the person you're currently interested in is interested in you, or if they are after your money?


1. Let go of...

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Self-Hypnosis for Entrepreneurs

As a businesswoman for over a decade, I have seen and experienced first-hand the struggles that women have when pursuing their goals, especially when they don’t focus on the inner work of being an entrepreneur. I have the honour of working with entrepreneurs from all stages of new startups to executive women planning their exit strategy, to floral designers in residence at a top London Hotel. 

The Inner Job of Being

For many years hypnosis was seen as something for woo-woo hippy types or as a trick that was done on stage where people danced around like a chicken. However today, hypnosis has turned into a staple for many entrepreneurs and executives from everything to dealing with stress, building confidence to working through long-held limiting beliefs since childhood.

I focus on a mix of hypnotherapy and coaching to maximizing women’s effectiveness in business or careers and to help them overcome obstacles that are currently perceived in their way to achieving...

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How Can We Stop People-Pleasing Others?

If I look back at my own story as a child, I learned during school that people-pleasing was a skill and it got results. From putting the pens back in the draw to seeing on report cards “Laura is a pleasure to have in class”, there were always ways that I could please people.

As a skill, people-pleasing or a part of what enables you to people-please is important. It is the ability to be empathetic, read and understand your audience in a very short space of time.

It’s important to understand that people-pleasing, isn’t the same as being kind to others.

The behaviour resides in that you will seek to make others happy, even though it may have a detrimental impact on your health and wellbeing.

It can involve you being terrified, with a physical response of being rejected by others.

How do you know if you are a people pleaser:

  1. Pretending to agree with people when you don’t
  2. Apologies even when you’ve done nothing wrong
  3. Not being able to say no even when...
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